In his book, We Are Still Married, Garrison Keillor included a piece titled How to Write a Letter. As you know, I am a huge fan of real mail, including (especially) letters. His piece made letter-writing seem so friendly + accessible, and was so full of tips + truth, that I would love for everyone to read it.

To entice you – into reading his piece, into writing letters – here is some of his wisdom.

1. Don’t feel guilty about not writing. Letters are a gift. You don’t owe anyone a letter.
2. The only letters that are obligatory are thank you notes, condolence notes, and responses to requests for a visit. Write those promptly. Don’t worry about the others.
3. Some of the best letters are written in a fit of inspiration.
4. Your words don’t need to be immortal, just sincere.
5. Think about your friend. When they become real to you, start to write.
6. Tell your friend what you’re doing, just as if you were talking to them.
7. If you don’t know where to begin, start with the present moment.
8. You are writing to someone who already likes you. Take it easy.
9. Don’t worry about form. It’s not a term paper.
10. Don’t start over every time you make a mistake. Write your way out of it.
11. Writing is a means of discovery. When you come to the end, you’ll know something you didn’t know when you began.
12. Your letter will be an object of art. Your simple lines will show future generations the humanity of our times.

For more letter-writing goodness, read the entire piece in We Are Still Married. Available at fine booksellers and libraries everywhere.

Thanks, Mr. Keillor, for your wisdom! You inspired me to write three letters today and I agree with all of this.

Here’s to a world full of handwritten letters!

i love real mail.

maybe it’s old-fashioned – there are so many instantaneous ways to connect nowadays – but i don’t care.

there are so many things to love about real mail.

there is the tactile pleasure of pen on paper.

there is the singular script of the sender.

there is the non-immediacy of the arrival.

there is the surprise + delight of finding a hand-written envelope or postcard nestled amongst a stack of bills and junk mail and catalogs.

i would love to live in a world where our mailboxes are overflowing with beauty + love + connection.

maybe you would love to live in that world too.

maybe you really want to reach out to someone by way of a card or a letter or a postcard, but you just don’t know what to say.

for you, a list of ideas.

say what is true.

i love you.
i miss you.
i’m thinking about you.
i’m so glad you’re in my life.
i don’t know what to say, but i want you to know i care.
how are you? really? i want to know.

celebrate and appreciate them, and be specific.

i love you because ..
i appreciate the way you ..
i admire the way you ..
when i think of you, i think of someone who ..

tell them why you’re thinking about them.

remember when ..
i wish we could ..
i saw/heard/read/felt .. and it made me think of you.
you shared ___ and i can’t stop thinking about it and i wish we could sit down over coffee and talk about it and everything.
i saw your pictures of ___ and it made me smile/miss you/wish you were here.

share something you think they’d like.

a quote.
a song lyric.
a poem.
an article.
a comic strip.

tell them a tiny story about your day/life so they can share in it.

there is a pair of mourning doves on my patio. they visit every day. i named them harry & sally.

a nearby cafe has a sisu latte. it contains cardamon + cinnamon bun. i didn’t know there was cinnamon bun syrup. maybe it is an actual cinnamon bun? clearly i need to ask. when i think of sisu (it’s finnish), i think of grit, so i am glad to know there is sweetness in it too.

my nephew lars says happy now. he says happyhappyhappy at random intervals and it is just so sweet.

i was looking for a quick read when i found dr. laura’s book, the proper care & feeding of husbands, on the bookshelf. i know it seems crazy, but i read it and it reminded me of mama gena. is that crazy? maybe you shouldn’t answer that. maybe you should forget i told you this.

when in doubt, remember: honest + simple + straight from the heart.

you really can’t go wrong with that.

and as (one of my favorite imaginary mentors) augusten burroughs would say, “better the wrong words at the right time than the right words at the wrong time.”

here’s to reaching out.

with love.

in all ways.

the other day, i read an article in the paper about the effects of a long hard winter. it made me think about our elderly relatives who are often isolated and alone, especially in winter.

if you have some, near or far, consider a phone call or a card. i promise you, it will be a greater blessing than you can imagine.

if you are not a person who mails things, but you want them to get something lovely in the mail, i can help.

are they a mailer-of-things? what about a gift-wrapped set of blank cards?

do they like stories? what about a subscription to the story club? i am happy to send the stories via the mail.

do they like dogs? what about a series of postcards from atlas?

do they just need love? what about a love note, anonymous or otherwise, or a reminder that spring will come.

i can also create something special just for them.

why me?

i love real mail. i love the possibility it holds for surprise + delight + connection + love.

i am good at real mail. i am never happier than when i am popping a stack of letters + cards + postcards into the mailbox to wing their way toward people i love.

that’s why so many of my offerings involve the mail.

really want to pop something in the mail yourself, but you just don’t know what to say?

i am writing a list of ideas just for you. it will be finished soon. {edit to say: here is the list! enjoy.}

this past weekend, i decided to write a list of 101 things to do this winter, to make my winter easier and more delightful.

(i mentioned this to my mother and she said, “but winter’s half over!” so, if you’re feeling blue about winter, there’s a fun perspective for you.)

i was a good ways into the list when i realized that everything fell into one of a handful of topics and i could just write that list.

so i did.

i am enjoying my list so much that i am sharing it here, in case you need it too.

An antidote to the winter blues.

1. Go outside.

This is not the going outside that gets you from one place to another, like from the house to the car or from the car to a store. This is the going outside where you bundle up and go outside simply to go outside.

If it helps, promise yourself that if you’re miserable, you can go back inside, even if it’s only been five minutes. (It’s important to keep that promise. You want to be able to trust yourself.)

When you go outside to go outside, you dress specifically for the weather, and I can tell you from experience that it makes a world of difference.

2. Move your body.

Go snowshoeing or ice skating. (You love both.) Go sledding. (You haven’t gone in years and it will remind you of your childhood.) Shovel. (It satisfies your inner perfectionist.)

Go cross-country skiing and decide whether or not you enjoy it. Play broomball or boot hockey. Make use of the skijoring harness and teach Atlas to pull a sled.

If you don’t want to go outside, move your body in another way: stretch, dance, practice yoga, do jumping jacks.

3. Take Vitamin D.

You need it. Especially in the winter. And you know it helps.

4. Find the light.

Whenever the sun comes out, take a moment to soak it in. If you can, go outside. If you can’t, or just don’t want to, sit or stand in a patch of sunlight and bask in it.

Light candles. There is something so warm and inviting and magical about candles in the darkness. You can light them in the morning while you meditate or in the evening before bed.

(If you want a wonderful way to end your day, here is one: yin yoga while wrapped in a fleece blanket by candle light.)

5. Find the warmth.

Drink tea or chai lattes or hot cocoa.

(If you want a wonderful daily ritual, here is one: boil water in the tea kettle for a mid-morning or mid-afternoon cup of lemon honey tea. You can’t hurry the tea kettle, so it is a good reminder to slow down and be present.)

Wrap yourself in a blanket while you’re reading or writing or meditating.

Wear your slippers.

Take the occasional bath or sauna. The bath warms your core (this is useful before bedtime). The sauna gives you a rare winter moment of “I am so hot that I must pour ice-cold water on myself! I am also so hot that I don’t want to put clothes on!”

6. Find pleasure indoors.

Play Yahtzee with your mom. Try to beat Helen at Boggle. Build a puzzle.

Watch some of your favorite movies: Bringing Up Baby (hilarity!) or The Triplets of Belleville (that dog and that music!) or Pride & Prejudice (Mr. Darcy!). Watch a movie you’ve been wanting to see (maybe something with Colin Firth or Johnny Depp).

Read some of your favorite childhood books: The Secret Garden, Little House In the Big Woods, or Laddie. Read a new book, maybe Outlander.

Learn to knit (again) and finish that scarf. Learn some phrases in Italian. Find the constellations Ursa Major and Canis Major.

Spend time in the kitchen: make soup or stew; learn to make bread; make cinnamon rolls.

Write letters.

Have long rich conversations with friends.

7. Play.

Go outside and blow bubbles when the temperature is below zero and see if they freeze. Catch a snowflake on your tongue. Make a snow angel.

Tromp through the deep snow in impractical footwear. Roll down a hill. Pack a thermos of hot cocoa and sandwiches in a backpack and snowshoe into the woods for a winter picnic.

Stick your tongue out at the weather and then curl up on the couch. Build a fort out of blankets. Finger paint.

8. Last, but definitely not least, treat yo’self.

Paint your toenails a rich lush color.

Take yourself to your favorite coffee shop or cafe.

Buy fresh flowers. You don’t need an entire bouquet; one (preferably non-white) flower can make a world of difference. When the petals fall, you can place them in a bowl of water.

Apply as needed.

May your winter be delightful!

oh, how i wish i could wave a magic wand and fill you with wonder. it is one of my favorite qualities.

wonder is a cousin to magic and enchantment but, for some reason, it is easier to remember that wonder can be found in the ordinary, not just the extraordinary, even though that is true of all of them.

wonder includes elements of beauty, appreciation, presence & amazement.

when i am full of wonder, i feel like i am seeing [whatever it is i am seeing] the way it was meant to be seen, the way it really truly is.

when i am full of wonder, i am anchored fully in the moment.

while on a walk the other day, i kept falling into wonder, so i thought i would share some of the ways i find it.

listen to the grass.

have you ever stopped and listened to the wet grass? if you stand next to or in the grass when it’s wet – maybe after a rain, or when the morning dew is heavy on the grass, or right after the sprinklers have gone off – and you listen closely, you will hear a rustling sound. it sounds like the grass is whispering, murmuring to you.

i like to imagine that the grass is calling, “run! play! come join us!”

watch the bees buzzing among the flowers.

have you ever really stopped to notice the bumblebees in a flower patch? when you watch round fuzzy bumblebees flitting from flower to flower, even if you’ve seen the flowers many times before, it can feel like you’re seeing them anew. the bumblebees take such joy in the flowers that it’s contagious.

i like to imagine what it might feel like to find myself in the heart of a flower, surrounded by vibrant color.

notice creatures in flight.

have you ever watched tiny birds at play? they make giant circles in the air, and swoop down until they’re barely brushing the ground and back up again, over and over and over. it looks like they’re dancing, often in unison. or butterflies? you can see their tiny but mighty wings flapping back and forth. it looks like they are sauntering along, with no need or desire to hurry. or dragonflies? they whizzzzzz by and their colorful body shimmers and sparkles in the sunlight.

to me, birds and bumblebees and dragonflies epitomize the joy and freedom of flight.

name something: maybe a tree, a bird, or a spider.

there is something about the act of naming that creates a warm connection. every time you see the object you named, you experience the joyful surprise and delight of seeing a familiar friend again.

i have three regular pairs of bird visitors: harold & kumar (bluebirds), harold & maude (blue jays), and harry & sally (doves). i can’t tell you how happy it makes me when they pop in for a visit and some birdseed.

find a regular walk.

there is something about a regular walk that helps you notice the way nature changes with each season. there is also something about a regular walk that helps you notice how quickly nature can change. a bush seems to grow over a foot overnight. the same with a patch of blackberry brambles. blossoms emerge, flowers open, dandelions change from yellow petals to white puffs, petals drop, leaves fall.

it might be harder in a city, but i suspect it’s still doable.

listen to your heart.

(i got this idea from a martha beck book. it is probably an advanced practice, mostly because it might take a while to hear it and because allowing yourself to connect with your heart in this way might bring up deep feelings.)

close your eyes, sit quietly, focus on your heart, and try to feel it beating. sometimes it helps if you hold your breath for a second. (my heart sounds more like a ba-dump ba-dump, rather than the thump thump i was expecting.) when you can feel it beating, imagine blood rushing throughout your body on the beat and flowing back into the heart on the pause.

there is something about this practice that really connects you with the wonder and miracle of life.

here’s to wonder!

may you find it in your today.

and if you feel moved to share, i would love to hear about things that fill you with wonder.

a post script.

this is one of the best ways i can describe the essence of both the story club and hope floats.

I am in the mood to shake things up a bit. Also, I am in the mood to talk about Atlas.

Weimaraners – really, active energetic dogs in general – need lots of physical activity. And by lots, I mean LOTS.

When Atlas gets enough exercise, he is a fabulous dog. When he doesn’t, he drives me crazy. Well, not as crazy as he did when he was a puppy, but crazy enough. It’s as if he channels the energy he didn’t expend into determination and cleverness. And oh, he is determined and clever.

When the weather is warm, he rarely gets enough exercise. He does not do well in heat, so unless I can get to the trails in the early morning, our walks are short. If he were a water dog, I’d take him swimming, but alas, he isn’t.

Fortunately, mental activity is also tiring, so here are five games I play with him to keep his sauciness at bay.

Scent training.

You need: a stretch of grass and some dog treats.

The basics:
Pick a starting location and stand there with your dog.
Put the dog in a stay.
Walk forward with dog treats in your hand.
As you walk, shuffle your feet in the grass to make a path.
Every couple of feet, touch the grass, as if you are putting a treat there, but rub the dog treat in the grass instead.
After a short or long distance, place the dog treat in the grass.
Turn and walk back to the dog, without walking on the marked path.
Release the dog.

(I will say that Atlas doesn’t always follow the path. But even if he doesn’t, he spends a great deal of time sniffing all around so I consider it a success either way.)

(The one trouble with this game is that you quickly run out of grass because you need a completely clean stretch of grass every time you play.)

(An easy alternative to this game is to throw a small dog treat in the grass and let the dog search for it. You might just want to watch where it lands so if it looks like they’ll never find it, you can help. I like to shout HOT/COLD at Atlas, even though I am pretty sure he has no idea what I’m saying.)

Hide and seek for treats.

You need: dog treats.

The basics:
Put your dog in a stay, ideally somewhere they can’t see you.
Hide dog treats around a room or around the house.
When you’re done, release the dog and let them find the treats.

At first, you’ll want to hide the treats in plain sight, somewhere they can be easily found. Slowly, you can hide them in more difficult locations. Under couch cushions or carpets can be fun. Also consider balancing them on doorknobs. Just keep in mind that your dog will be excited so maybe avoid spots with breakable objects.

(I put Atlas in the kitchen. If he peeks his head out while I’m hiding the treats, we start over.)

Cups.

You need: a few cups and dog treats.

The basics:
Put a treat under one of the cups.
Shuffle the cups around while the dog watches.
Let the dog find the treat.

(I think the idea is that they will use their nose to locate the right cup. As far as I can tell, Atlas checks under all of them. But it’s still fun.)

Find the treat.

You need: dog treats.

The basics:
Put a dog treat in one of your palms with your dog watching.
Make two fists with your hands. (There will be a dog treat in one of them.)
Place your hands behind your back.
Sometimes you’ll switch the dog treat to the other hand; sometimes you won’t. I like to switch it back & forth a few times and see where it ends up.
Place your fists out in front of you and tell the dog to find the treat.
When the dog sniffs a fist, open your hand. If there is a dog treat, they get to eat it. If there isn’t, put your hands back behind your back and shuffle and let them try again.

(Atlas has developed a strategy. If he picks the wrong hand, he picks the other hand the next time. Unless he’s picked the wrong hand a few times in a row, after which he starts picking the same hand again and again. He’s so cute and silly.)

Hide and seek.

You need: nothing, unless you want to give them a treat.

The basics:
Put your dog in a stay.
Hide.
Release them and call them to you.
When they find you, jump up and play with them and scratch them.

(You don’t really need a large house for this. I hide behind doors and behind the bed. The only trouble with a small house is that after a while, all they have to do is check all the available locations.)

Have fun!

Feel free to ask if you want me to clarify anything.

{an irregular series inspired by my love for creating beautiful spaces, also known as interior design: volume 1}

As usual, I will preface this by saying that in all things, your taste and choice prevails. Whether everyone (or anyone) else agrees with it or not.

Today’s tip: When hanging art in a series, even-numbered series usually have more options than odd.

If you have a number of pieces of art that you want to group together without spending a lot of time arranging them, here are my quick and easy suggestions.

If you have an even number of pieces, hang them in one or more even-numbered rows.

If you use more than one row, you can align the columns or you can stagger them.

(If you are a lazy perfectionist, and the frames are identical in size and shape, I suggest the staggered approach. It’s more forgiving.)

The easy exception to this would be if two of the pieces are much larger than the others, in which case you can hang the smaller pieces in rows and then hang the large pieces on the left and right sides.

If you have an odd number of pieces, hang them in a single row.

A single row of art in a straight line always looks lovely.

The easy exception to this would be if one of the pieces is much larger than the others, in which case you can hang that piece in the center and then arrange the smaller pieces along the left and right sides.

A single row of art at a diagonal works well and is relatively easy to do when you are hanging the pieces along a staircase.

These three photographs are at a slight diagonal to mirror the pieces on the wall behind them. Otherwise, I would have used a straight line, aligning them by their center, not the top or bottom.

Of course, there are lots of other options, but I promised quick and easy.

Feel free to disagree or discuss.

I’d love to hear from you.

And if you are ever stuck on where or how to hang something and you want some suggestions, you are welcome to email me pictures and ask for ideas.

{an irregular series inspired by my love for creating beautiful spaces, also known as interior design: volume 2}

Just for fun, I thought we would talk about hanging art.

Creating beautiful spaces, also known as interior design, is one of my many loves. I can spend hours thinking about how to arrange a few carefully chosen items on a coffee table, or about where to hang a piece of art. I also trust my design sense. I suspect there are other people who see this sort of thing as a chore or who don’t trust theirs.

I will preface this by saying that in all things, your taste and choice prevails. Whether everyone (or anyone) else agrees with it or not.

Today’s tip: A great rule of thumb is to hang your art at eye level.

There is usually a midpoint or a focal point in the piece. Your piece can be quite arresting when you hang it so that point is at eye level.

Your eye is going to be drawn to the focal point anyway. When it’s the first thing you see – because you don’t have to look up or down to get to it – it pulls you right in.

On a similar note, too low is often better than too high.

Case in point: You can place art on the floor, which looks fantastic.

This is especially true when you are hanging a piece of art or a series above a piece of furniture (like a bed or a couch or a dining room table). It usually works better when the piece or the series is closer to the piece of furniture than it is to the ceiling.

I’ve been trying to decide why this is so and I think it’s because the furniture and the art are meant to complement each other so too much distance can cause confusion. It might also be because the art is usually viewed from that piece of furniture, meaning you are not standing.

Of course, there are exceptions to this, like art on multi-story walls, but in those cases, you are often using the art to draw the eye upward or to accentuate the height of the space.

Feel free to disagree or discuss. I’d love to hear from you.

And if you are ever stuck on where or how to hang something and you want some suggestions, you are welcome to email me pictures and ask for ideas.

(This is a horrible picture. It looks like my candlestick has green plant wings. But it was the last time I had a wall behind the couch to hang a piece of art on. And oh, I miss that red wall. Also, I miss that bamboo plant. That was one of the few plants that survived my care for any length of time.)

when people ask for photography advice or suggestions, i always shy away from answering. it feels like i am the least qualified person ever to answer that question and have nothing useful to offer – because i don’t know so much more than i do know and because mostly i just play and have fun and see what happens.

except of course i have thoughts. (ha. of course i do. i have thoughts on lots of things, including things that i practice much less often – or never – than i practice photography.)

so, in this moment, here are my photography tips. i may have more later.

(use at your own risk. what i mean by that is, if there is something that appeals to you, use that and discard the rest. you are the best authority on you. this applies to everything, including photography tips.)

take pictures. a lot of pictures.

this is easier with digital cameras. yay, digital cameras! when i was young, i would often use an entire roll of film on a breaking wave. i liked waves, and every forward movement of the wave seemed even more photogenic than the last. i am very used to deleting (or discarding) pictures.

it’s partially the law of averages – the more photos you take, the more likely you are to take a photo (or photos) that you really love.

it’s also practice. the more photos you take, the more photos you see, and the more quickly you learn the compositions and subjects and and and that you prefer. this is how i learned about the rule of thirds. i took so many photos of nature that i noticed that if the main thing i wanted to capture wasn’t precisely in the center, i was more inclined to like the result. when i learned about the rule years later, it all made sense.

of course, the opposite is also true. there is something to be said for limiting yourself to a single photo and taking time to find just the right subject and to compose the photo in the way that feels just right and then experiencing the result. if you’re in need of a challenge, maybe this is it.

take pictures of things that you love.

you’re drawn to things. follow that!

it seems silly to try to force yourself to take pictures of things that other people take pictures of, or to capture things in ways that other people capture them, or to take pictures that you think other people want to see, if it’s not something you’re drawn to.

if you’re drawn to people, take pictures of them! if you’re drawn to flowers and birds and bees, take pictures of them! if you’re drawn to buildings, take pictures of them! if you’re drawn to light and shadow, take pictures of them! if you’re drawn to ice cream cones, take pictures of them!

your pictures are another reflection of you. it might feel vulnerable to share that piece of you, so you have total permission to never share anything with anyone ever.

i love atlas, the natural world (particularly flowers and trees and water), details, daily life, art, and lines/angles/color/pattern. can you tell?

again, the opposite is also true. there is something to be said for stepping out of your comfort zone. you might not need to take pictures of things that you don’t love, but it might be a good challenge to take pictures of things that you don’t normally capture. say, people instead of scenery or details instead of the entire scene.

play.

play!

hold your camera above your head or at water level or put it underneath a flower. snap a photo from your hip while you’re running with your dog or your child. put your camera on a new setting and take some pictures and see what happens. sit or lie down or twist at an odd angle. close your eyes.

use a slow shutter speed and press the shutter while you’re moving the camera. shoot through a sheer colorful fabric. hold a toilet paper tube or a kaleidoscope in front of the lens. shoot directly into the sun. cut off the top of someone’s head. stand too close to your subject. take a blurry picture.

ignore all the rules. break all the rules. don’t listen to anyone’s advice. do whatever you want.

in this case, i don’t think there is an opposite. when it comes to photography, play is work and work is play.

on that note, be your own expert.

you get to like your photos, whether anyone else does or not.

now it’s your turn!

feel free to agree or disagree or discuss or add your own.