{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

i
look around
all around
up, down, sideways

waiting
hoping
that someone
anyone
(but not just anyone)
(only the right someone)
will tell me
what to do
(what to think, how to feel, who to be)

when i know
of course i know
i always know
the answer

the answers are there
hiding
(not hiding at all)
waiting
hoping
sitting in the silence

i hear them
of course i hear them
i have always heard them

my work
(the work of a lifetime)
is in finding the courage
to follow them

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011 – unfortunately, my photo disappeared, so i am using redorgrayart’s own photo so you can still see her mobile.}

today, i have a story for you.

i ordered the book sea of miracles from amy oscar because i like reading about angels. (i’m glad i did. reading it felt like being enveloped in a warm and loving embrace.)

the day before it arrived in my mailbox, i found a bluebird feather on my morning walk with atlas. a bluebird feather! i adore bluebirds. they are my symbol of happiness; every time i see one, i remember the story about the children who looked everywhere for the bluebird of happiness only to find it once they returned home again. i picked the feather up and brought it home with me.

in her book, she talks about finding feathers. about how she finds feathers, about how people who work with her start finding feathers, about how people who send her angel stories find feathers. when i read that, it made me think of my bluebird feather.

she also talks about how you can ask the angels to send you a sign (as many and as big as you need) to show you that they exist. i decided to ask them for a sign that would absolutely positively convince me when I am most doubtful.

i asked, and then i let it go.

on my evening walk with the pup (yes, he gets a lot of walks), i saw a butterfly. this made me smile. i like to pretend that butterflies are the angels, reminding me that they’re near.

a little while later, i found a feather on the path.

after i picked up the feather, atlas pulled me off the path and into the woods. what did we discover in the woods but an entire pile of feathers. it must have been every single feather from a bird. only there was no sign of the bird, just the pile of feathers.

we continued on, out of the woods and down the path again. when we reversed course, what did we discover every few feet or so? more feathers! feathers that i would swear weren’t there when we walked the path the few minutes earlier.

by this time, i was laughing away. but i also felt very loved and comforted.

p.s. don’t you love my bluebird mobile from redorgreyart? i just love it. it hangs in my kitchen, reminding me to slow down and appreciate the moments. and it seemed very fitting for my story.

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

if you had seen atlas on that bridge – belly low to the ground, unhappy face, movement slow, staring through the slats at the water below every few steps, you would know why this photo reminds me of trust. (or perhaps it should be the lack thereof.)

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}

i had an epiphany about surrender today that seemed perfectly suited for my trust project. since i was hiking at the time, i recorded it as a voice memo on my iphone so i would remember to write it down.

instead, i'm trying something new. listening to the recording made me laugh, so i thought i'd let you laugh along with me. fingers crossed this works!

Surrender

p.s. did you see the ladybug in the photo?