{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

today, i offer up a thought on radiance from my journal.

i wonder what it would feel like to radiate the essence of me and of love for me/others. mmmmmm. there is a sense of a sweet steady grounded happiness.

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

another picture that makes me think of both radiance and luminosity.

p.s. i was closing registration for the secret garden earlier today, when i decided that i loved the card set for the circle of aqua so much that i wanted more people to have it. so, just for fun, i am leaving registration for the circle of aqua open through monday. if you were interested in it, there are a few more spaces available, and you have a few extra days to decide. maybe you want your year to be full of happy surprise, delight, and gleeful anticipation too!

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

this picture makes me think of both radiance and luminosity.

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

the other day, while out on a walk, i realized something.

the sun is always shining.

always.

even when i cannot see it because it is obscured by clouds or fog or the night sky.

for some reason, i find this enormously encouraging and inspiring.

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

today, in the spirit of lightness, i feel moved to tell you about the things i currently offer. i don't often mention them and the other day, i realized that because i don't, they often feel like i am embarrassed of them, which i am most definitely not. i love them all.

first, there is the secret garden: something (or somethings) you love plus a year of happy surprise, delight, and gleeful anticipation. because this is a year-long program, registration will close on march 15th.

second, there is the pause: time to put down your to-do lists and rest and recharge and renew, all in the comfort of your own home.

third, there is my etsy shop: beauty and delight and magic for mailbox and home.

fourth, there is the image grab bag: bite-sized doses of beauty that fit your life and budget, images that come with freedom and permission and possibility.

maybe one of them is just what you were needing or wanting and the time is just right!

either way, my heart is full of love and appreciation for you.

you are always welcome here.

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

sometimes, only the tiniest trick of the light can separate radiance and luminosity.

(i have to tell you the story behind these pictures. the pup and i were ending our walk this morning when the sun peeked out from behind the clouds. i remembered seeing a splash of oil on the asphalt – something i always find beautiful even as i wish it away – and ran inside to get my camera. we walked around the parking lot of the apartment complex looking for it. along the way, i stopped to take a photo of a puddle. atlas decided he was thirsty and got in the way of my planned picture. however, as he lifted his head up, water dropped from his jowls and into the puddle. the waves the droplets made as they landed were so pretty that i asked him to take another drink so i could take more pictures.)

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

people!

i have to tell you a secret because i am so very excited about it.

the plan, for a while now, has been that retinal perspectives will have a lovely new web home this year, likely toward the end of april.

and!

the thing i know now – which i discovered over the weekend, thankfully just in time to tell the designer before she started work – is that my business and web site will no longer use the name retinal perspectives.

it turns out that i am going to use my own name.

i am going to be ..

insert drumroll please ..

elizabeth halt :: the girl with the kaleidoscope eyes.

i am so in love with my new idea that i could just burst.

(that being said, i am still very fond of the name retinal perspectives, so it might remain in some form or fashion, at least for a while.)

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

it is easy to believe in the possibility of radiance when the sun is shining. we are in a five day stretch of sun – with more promised – and, with the exception of one hard day, i feel like i am sparkling.

i know i could live somewhere sunnier, but i feel like regular winter sun would make the sunshine seem more ordinary and less celebratory. i like that the presence of the sun makes me want to drop everything in order to bask in it.

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

apparently i am taking nothing but photos of radiance these days, because i had a number of sets of radiance photos to choose from.

i picked these photos – from one particular set – because they aligned so well with my reason for choosing radiance and with what i am working on.

radiance is a patch of mud.

luminosity is a mud puddle.

really. is that not too perfect for words?

{a photo project honoring radiance, one of my words for 2012 :: 52 photos that represent radiance, 52 photos that represent luminosity.}

i keep trying to write a post about the darker side of radiance – the things that have come up for attention since i invoked the power of radiance – but it. is. just. not. flowing. it feels sluggish and heavy and dark.

sluggish and heavy and dark is rather how it feels to work on all of this at times, but the thing that saves me is my sense of humor and my fascination with how my mind works, so the energy of this particular post is all wrong and i cannot publish it.

instead, here is a quick list of things i have learned this month. as i write each one down, i am sending the underlying pattern love and giving it permission to exist. and i am also giving myself permission to be glad that most of them are on their way out.

• it doesn't really matter what nice things people say about you, unless you believe them yourself.
• voices that are older and more familiar, even if they are mean and hurtful, are easier to believe.
• even if i believe i am worthy now, old patterns that are based on the (now faulty) premise that i am unworthy need to come up for attention so i can look at them with fresh eyes.
• i am very good at projecting my own beliefs about myself onto the people in my relationships, which is why i am always waiting for the moment when they leave.
• of course it is hard for me to be vulnerable and to tell people how wonderful i think they are and how much i care about them if i am waiting for them to leave.
• my identity for 30 plus years has been based on the belief that i am unworthy. by invoking radiance, i am asking for my entire identity to shift. i sort of missed this part.
• practicing vulnerability in relationships is hard and important and very worth it.
• goodness, or the anticipation of goodness, can be scary too.

om shanti shanti shanti.