once upon a time, i told you that if i were going to write a dog book, the dog book i’d want to write would be: “the things no one tells you about having a dog (& if they did, you wouldn’t believe them anyway)”.

well, here is another entry.

i was lying in bed one night, quietly reflecting on my day before i went to sleep. atlas’s butt was by my head. (who knows why. possibly because he likes to arrange himself at odd angles. possibly because he was asleep on the bed and i didn’t have the heart to make him move so i squeezed myself into the tiny space that was left.)

i was nearing slumber when atlas farted. did i mention that his butt was by my head?

the thing people do not tell you about having a dog is that after years of living with one, you will just smile at your beloved silly dog and try not to breathe through your nose and go back to your quiet reflection.

I am in the mood to shake things up a bit. Also, I am in the mood to talk about Atlas.

Weimaraners – really, active energetic dogs in general – need lots of physical activity. And by lots, I mean LOTS.

When Atlas gets enough exercise, he is a fabulous dog. When he doesn’t, he drives me crazy. Well, not as crazy as he did when he was a puppy, but crazy enough. It’s as if he channels the energy he didn’t expend into determination and cleverness. And oh, he is determined and clever.

When the weather is warm, he rarely gets enough exercise. He does not do well in heat, so unless I can get to the trails in the early morning, our walks are short. If he were a water dog, I’d take him swimming, but alas, he isn’t.

Fortunately, mental activity is also tiring, so here are five games I play with him to keep his sauciness at bay.

Scent training.

You need: a stretch of grass and some dog treats.

The basics:
Pick a starting location and stand there with your dog.
Put the dog in a stay.
Walk forward with dog treats in your hand.
As you walk, shuffle your feet in the grass to make a path.
Every couple of feet, touch the grass, as if you are putting a treat there, but rub the dog treat in the grass instead.
After a short or long distance, place the dog treat in the grass.
Turn and walk back to the dog, without walking on the marked path.
Release the dog.

(I will say that Atlas doesn’t always follow the path. But even if he doesn’t, he spends a great deal of time sniffing all around so I consider it a success either way.)

(The one trouble with this game is that you quickly run out of grass because you need a completely clean stretch of grass every time you play.)

(An easy alternative to this game is to throw a small dog treat in the grass and let the dog search for it. You might just want to watch where it lands so if it looks like they’ll never find it, you can help. I like to shout HOT/COLD at Atlas, even though I am pretty sure he has no idea what I’m saying.)

Hide and seek for treats.

You need: dog treats.

The basics:
Put your dog in a stay, ideally somewhere they can’t see you.
Hide dog treats around a room or around the house.
When you’re done, release the dog and let them find the treats.

At first, you’ll want to hide the treats in plain sight, somewhere they can be easily found. Slowly, you can hide them in more difficult locations. Under couch cushions or carpets can be fun. Also consider balancing them on doorknobs. Just keep in mind that your dog will be excited so maybe avoid spots with breakable objects.

(I put Atlas in the kitchen. If he peeks his head out while I’m hiding the treats, we start over.)

Cups.

You need: a few cups and dog treats.

The basics:
Put a treat under one of the cups.
Shuffle the cups around while the dog watches.
Let the dog find the treat.

(I think the idea is that they will use their nose to locate the right cup. As far as I can tell, Atlas checks under all of them. But it’s still fun.)

Find the treat.

You need: dog treats.

The basics:
Put a dog treat in one of your palms with your dog watching.
Make two fists with your hands. (There will be a dog treat in one of them.)
Place your hands behind your back.
Sometimes you’ll switch the dog treat to the other hand; sometimes you won’t. I like to switch it back & forth a few times and see where it ends up.
Place your fists out in front of you and tell the dog to find the treat.
When the dog sniffs a fist, open your hand. If there is a dog treat, they get to eat it. If there isn’t, put your hands back behind your back and shuffle and let them try again.

(Atlas has developed a strategy. If he picks the wrong hand, he picks the other hand the next time. Unless he’s picked the wrong hand a few times in a row, after which he starts picking the same hand again and again. He’s so cute and silly.)

Hide and seek.

You need: nothing, unless you want to give them a treat.

The basics:
Put your dog in a stay.
Hide.
Release them and call them to you.
When they find you, jump up and play with them and scratch them.

(You don’t really need a large house for this. I hide behind doors and behind the bed. The only trouble with a small house is that after a while, all they have to do is check all the available locations.)

Have fun!

Feel free to ask if you want me to clarify anything.

i thought of a brilliant way to combine my love for ice cream, photos, and exploring portland.

it’s an ice cream photo walk!

if you live in portland, and also enjoy those things, mark your calendar for june 30th and join me.

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my latest tv obsession is a show called the pretender. it aired in the mid 90’s, so possibly i am the last person in the world to hear about it. the show stars jarod, a genius with the ability to quickly master any topic and flawlessly impersonate anyone in any profession.

it’s fascinating to watch him go from a fireman to a navy commander to a forest ranger to an exterminator to an attorney, but the thing i find most enjoyable about the show is something entirely different.

jarod’s character is such a beautiful portrayal of childlike curiosity and openness.

whenever he doesn’t know something or understand something, he asks questions. “if the hole is here, why do they call this the donut hole?” “who is the man in the yellow hat?” “why is he called mr. potato head when his whole body is a potato?”

i want to be that open and curious.

i don’t want to stop myself from asking questions because i’m afraid of looking foolish.

::

atlas decided he wanted his very own facebook page. now he can express his opinions 24/7.

speaking of atlas, do go see my magazine feature parody. i giggle every time i think about it.

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this week, i stumbled upon a beautiful post about prayer from jena strong.

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if you ever spy creme fraiche from vermont creamery at the grocery store, you might want to try it, particularly the madagascar vanilla flavor. i discovered it last week and am on my fourth container. it is delicious with fresh strawberries.

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what is delighting you lately?

i met a friend for coffee this morning, then treated myself and my current idea to a delicious sandwich and an iced coconut latte for lunch.

portland is warm and sunny. i wore a skirt and a short-sleeved shirt and sandals and did not freeze. it was lovely.

i am torn between feeling like i am on the right path and with wondering – yet again – what on earth i am meant to be doing with my life. i feel like my heart is three sizes too big – bursting with love for the world and for all of you – but i don’t know how to harness that energy in a way that actually makes a difference in the world.

i have almost literally no food in the house, aside from a can of chili, an apple, some pasta, and a strange assortment of cheeses. however, i feel strangely uninspired to visit the grocery store so i am drinking a diet vernors for dinner. good thing i had that sandwich! (though now that i write this, i realize i could also have an apple with cheese.)

i feel a rather conflicting mix of emotions but instead of feeling them fully, i am reading articles on the internet. they are good articles, but i think i would be better served by sitting quietly for a while. maybe i will do that now.

atlas is perfecting the art of the flop. (by which i mean, he throws himself down on the ground and wriggles around on his back.) i’m pretty sure he’s mastered it, but he continues to practice.

how are you? really?

i saw this chalk drawing on the sidewalk when i was out for a walk with atlas. it was so colorful that i had to run home and get my camera.

doesn’t it make you want to sit down on the sidewalk with your own bucket of chalk? i definitely want to.

i have to tell you a story, mostly because i am pretty sure it will be comical in retrospect, and i do love a good laugh.

the characters: me and atlas, though atlas is hiding under the covers through most of the story.

the scene: it is dark thirty on monday, also known as the wee hours of the morning. i have only recently fallen back asleep after letting atlas out for his middle-of-the-night potty break.

i am deep in dreamland when i am roused by a very loud alarm.

the sound of the alarm shakes me and my heart starts to pound. the trouble is that i am not fully awake, and am still in the throes of my last dream, so i can’t be sure that the noise isn’t just a very vivid dream fragment. i take deep breaths to calm myself and try to fall back asleep.

BEEEEEEEEEEP. (the sound is so shrill and piercing that it requires capital letters. i think the alarm must be a close cousin of the air horn.)

still half-asleep, i realize that it sounds like the low battery alarm for the smoke detector. with a sigh of relief, i remember that i have an extra battery.

i stumble out of bed, find my glasses, find the spare battery, drag the ladder into the hallway and climb up, only to look up and realize that i am two feet away from the smoke alarm. i climb back down and reposition the ladder, climb up, change the battery, climb down, and try to close the ladder so i can put it away.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i decide that it must be a “yay, i have a battery again” sound and crawl blearily into bed.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

stupid spare batteries.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i try to ignore the sound and fall asleep.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i stumble to the computer to see if safeway is open all night so i can buy a new battery. it is not. i stumble back into bed and try to ignore the sound.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i decide to take out the battery so i can sleep, just until morning.

i stumble out of bed, find my glasses, drag the ladder into the hallway and climb up, only to look up and realize that i am now three feet away from the smoke alarm. i climb back down and reposition the ladder, climb up, take out the battery, climb down, and put the ladder away.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i tell myself that it’s just giving me a final warning and stumble back into bed.

BEEEEEEEEEEP. BEEEEEEEEEEP. BEEEEEEEEEEP.

stupid smoke alarms.

i stumble out of bed, find my glasses, drag the ladder into the hallway and climb up, only to look up and realize that, yet again, i can’t reach the smoke alarm. i climb back down and reposition the ladder, climb up, put the battery back in, climb down, and put the ladder away.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i tell myself that the sound is only annoying because i think it shouldn’t be there and i think i need it to go away. i tell myself to embrace the sound.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

stupid change-your-thoughts practices.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i lay on my side and squash a pillow onto my head and scrunch my eyes closed. i toss and turn for hours.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i drive to safeway and buy a new battery.

when i get home, i drag the ladder into the hallway and climb up, only to look up and realize that i still can’t reach the smoke alarm. i climb back down and reposition the ladder, climb up, and replace the battery.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i am still standing on the ladder. an involuntary tear rolls down my cheek.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

stupid smoke alarms.

stop beeping!

i decide it must be broken.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i wonder if maybe, just maybe, the sound is coming from the carbon monoxide detector that’s a foot away from the smoke alarm. then again, i’ve never heard that go off before, who knows if it even has batteries, and the noise sounds exactly like the smoke alarm.

i stand on the ladder, my eyes glued to the smoke alarm, waiting for the beep.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i think it’s coming from the smoke alarm. but it’s so hard to be sure.

i climb down, move the ladder over a foot, climb up, and stare at the carbon monoxide detector.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

the red light right next to the words that say “move to clean air” goes on at the same time.

i wonder if i should panic.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

i call the apartment office and tell them that my carbon monoxide detector is going off and i don’t know if i should panic. they say that the battery is probably low and they’ll send someone right over to change it.

BEEEEEEEEEEP.

someone comes over and replaces the battery.

there is silence. blissful silence.

i found this cute little kitty in cordoba. if atlas had been there, i imagine she (or he) would have looked less calm. then again, she was safely behind a fence, so maybe not.

i would like to be asleep right now, but i started reading stranger in a strange land. i wish i could remember that i am just not a science fiction fan, unless it’s the kind of science fiction that is like fantasy. like dune. i love/d dune. years ago, a coworker told me i should read dune and i refused, saying that i didn’t like science fiction. finally, i gave in and read it. the next day, i went out and bought all the books in the series.

speaking of book series, my one complaint with fantasy is that it always comes in a series, usually at least a trilogy. so, if i like a book, i have to read all the books right away, and then there goes my time until i’m finished. wait. maybe the problem isn’t that they come in a series. maybe the problem is that i don’t understand the concept of moderation and enjoying things slowly.

we had a 60 degree day today. it was so lovely. i was going to take atlas for a hike but, when we went outside, we found a tiny and scared and lost chihuahua. there went my next few hours. some very sweet people in the apartment complex office helped me catch it. they took it back to the office to rest and eat, and i think it may easily find a home if no one claims it. poor pup. it occurs to me that i have spent a lot of hours catching lost dogs and locating their people. maybe i am building up lost dog goodwill, though hopefully i never need it.

yesterday, i had truffle fries from little big burger. they are now my new gold standard in fries.

i had the best saturday morning.

i put fresh bird seed on my patio when i woke up – after forgetting about it for a week or so. the squirrels and some tiny birds came to visit immediately.

a short while later, i was standing in my kitchen making toast when i heard what sounded like an entire flock of birds chirping outside. i was sure that wasn’t possible and it was just one loud bird but i looked up anyway – i can see out the window from the kitchen – and an entire flock of tiny birds, easily 50 or more, flew up out of the bushes and into the trees in a beautiful arc. it looked like the flocks of birds that i often see while driving, where it looks like they’re all dancing in unison. my jaw dropped; it was so amazing.

i looked out at the birds on the patio a bit later only to see a varied thrush. it has a slate-grey and orange pattern and is such a pretty bird. it showed up one day a few months ago and i have been watching for it ever since (partly because i wanted to find out what kind of bird it was – this time i figured it out because i looked it up on my phone while i was looking at it).

i have decided to name the thrush sophie, even though i suspect she is a he.

here, it is monday evening.

there is a definite chill to the air and i am crossing my fingers that we will see snow. i am really missing snow lately. i spend a lot of time curled up on the couch with blanket and book and tea and puppy. there is something so peaceful about doing that exact same thing with a white blanket on the ground and snowflakes on the window.

in this moment, i find myself thinking of things like love and peace and compassion and beautifully decorated sugar cookies. i am also harboring a desire for red toenails and an afternoon movie date all by myself, no dogs allowed.

may you feel, down to the center of your bones, that you are loved.

here, it is friday night.

the wind is howling around my home. the rain drops are rattling against my window pane. it is a wild sort of beauty, one that i only notice now that i am inside, safe & warm & dry.

i find myself strangely uninterested in my photos right now. instead of worrying about it, i decided to embrace it. everything ebbs and flows in life. why should my interests be any different.

this morning, i asked myself, “what would bring me the most joy right now?” the answer involved christmas shopping. as a result, atlas and i went on a little adventure. atlas now has a bag of dog treats and a new collar. i found some christmas presents. i feel a million times better. (i think we both had cabin fever.)

if you were here, i’d make you a mug of tea and ask you how you are. not out of politeness, but because i have time to listen and i care. i do care and i am interested, if you would like to share, whether it’s here or in my email.

may your weekend include moments of peace and joy.