today
i met a friend for coffee this morning, then treated myself and my current idea to a delicious sandwich and an iced coconut latte for lunch.
portland is warm and sunny. i wore a skirt and a short-sleeved shirt and sandals and did not freeze. it was lovely.
i am torn between feeling like i am on the right path and with wondering – yet again – what on earth i am meant to be doing with my life. i feel like my heart is three sizes too big – bursting with love for the world and for all of you – but i don’t know how to harness that energy in a way that actually makes a difference in the world.
i have almost literally no food in the house, aside from a can of chili, an apple, some pasta, and a strange assortment of cheeses. however, i feel strangely uninspired to visit the grocery store so i am drinking a diet vernors for dinner. good thing i had that sandwich! (though now that i write this, i realize i could also have an apple with cheese.)
i feel a rather conflicting mix of emotions but instead of feeling them fully, i am reading articles on the internet. they are good articles, but i think i would be better served by sitting quietly for a while. maybe i will do that now.
atlas is perfecting the art of the flop. (by which i mean, he throws himself down on the ground and wriggles around on his back.) i’m pretty sure he’s mastered it, but he continues to practice.
how are you? really?
I so get you, and having had the blessed advantage of actual conversation with you recently, I get it even more. I wish I could offer some amazing advice… all I can say is that I have had this exact same dilemma. I will say, though, that after 4 years of blindly feeling my way, some things are starting to fall into place so I have to conclude that moving forward, one step at a time, staying always on my path, and true to myself, does eventually lead to a place of more knowing and confidence. Hang in there, my friend!!
i love this picture.
i have no idea what you’re really talking about here… unless it’s whether you think you should be making a living doing something other than what you are?
i may be totally missing it.
but you couldn’t go back to engineering now or any other type of thing in the corporate world? could you?
you’re an artist. through and through!
whatever ~ you must feed your soul.
who says you aren’t making a difference in the world? YOU ARE! by being elizabeth.
and simply sharing elizabeth and atlas.
Patty: Thank you! Yes, moving forward does lead to clarity. I just have moments where I want to see the whole path laid out before me. It was so nice to spend time with you!
Tammy: Sort of. It is somewhat convoluted to explain. I do think about going back from time to time. I could. And sometimes I think I could make the most difference by doing so – in that, I think some places need an infusion of certain qualities – like peace & beauty – and they can only be changed from the inside, by people who have learned how to infuse themselves and their work with those values and can maintain it. Who knows what will happen. But you’re right, either way, I do need to feed my soul!