you are the expert on you
i used to occasionally read something – on the web or in a book – that made me feel uncomfortable.
it almost always happened when i was reading something along the lines of this-is-how-you-should-do-x or this-is-how-you-should-be where i wasn’t doing the thing or being the thing.
for a long time, i thought the feeling meant that i had to change. in response, i would try to do the thing (or be the thing). if i couldn’t (or simply just wouldn’t), i would feel guilty and ashamed of myself for not doing the thing (or being the thing). i would also make the author wrong – either because i was doing something i didn’t want to or because anger felt better than guilt or shame.
this was so uncomfortable that i started to avoid anything i thought would contain advice or suggestions.
eventually, i realized that what the feeling really meant was that i was reading something that didn’t resonate with me. it wasn’t that i was wrong or they were wrong. the feeling was my inner guidance saying, “this is not for you”.
the interesting thing is that once i realized this, nothing i read really bothered me anymore. it became easier and easier to discern what resonated with me and what didn’t – and to take what resonated with me and discard the rest.
it took a long time for me to learn that i am an expert on me.
sometimes i still feel like i don’t know very much about myself, but it is indeed true that i know more about me than anyone else does.
that is what i want for you – for you to know that you are your own expert.
i was playing around with photoshop and made us a pinterest-friendly reminder. (i decided i can’t do this very often because i love fonts and playing with them makes me want to buy all the fonts in the world so i have them at my disposal. there are so many good ones out there!)
this is fabulous. exactly what I needed today.
there aren’t a lot of things that are completely wonderful about getting older.
notice i added the ‘er!’
but one of them is that you FINALLY accept or even validate yourself. just like you’ve discovered and at a much younger age. and that’s a good thing.
because i was forever the ‘new girl’ growing up ~ i constantly was trying to become whatever it was i thought i was supposed to be to be accepted.
not anymore! and it’s WONDERFUL!
come on in… the water’s fine! LOL.
looks like you had fun with the fonts! and thanks for the reminder:)
Beautifully put, Elizabeth. For a long time, I read so much stuff–I should to this for that result; I ought to do that to get more get more customers/friends, etc.; I’ve not “made it” unless I’ve done this, that or the other– Nope, it took a long time for me to just appreciate me as I am, that there’s really not a lot that needs changing for me to be a good me, and a me good for being in the world. Our whole lives I think we continually learn more about who we are. And as we grow older we grow more comfortable in our own skin. Even if in all my life I’m an expert at one thing only–me–that’s OK. ;o) Happy Days ((HUGS))
Fiona: I’m glad.
Tammy: How wonderful! That really is one of the good things about aging. Btw: I just read a book with a character who did the same thing. Her family was always moving so she was always turning herself into someone new in order to be accepted.
Helen: I did, though I am pretty sure I needed fonts that I didn’t have.
Tracy: To me, that seems like the very best thing to be an expert at! I’m with you on that other stuff .. still finding my own way in this.